Emotional Cutoff in Bowen Theory
Posted by Isaac Butterworth | Filed under Bowen Theory
Roberta M. Gilbert’s book, The Eight Concepts of Bowen Theory, is a helpful introduction to Bowen family systems theory. In the book, Dr. Gilbert lists the eight concepts as follows:
- Nuclear Family Emotional System
- The Differentiation of Self Scale
- Triangles
- Emotional Cutoff
- Family Projection Process
- Multigenerational Transmission Process
- Sibling Position
- Societal Emotional Process
This is the sixth post on Bowen family systems theory, and in it we arrive at the fourth of the eight concepts, emotional cutoff. Murray Bowen first described cutoff as a “process of separation, isolation, withdrawal, running away, or denying the importance of the parental family” (Family Therapy in Clinical Practice, p. 383). Cutoff is an extreme form of the distance posture described in the post, The Nuclear Family Emotional System / Part Two. There, we saw that, in the distance pattern, people may communicate less than previously or stop talking (or interacting) altogether. The distance, however, is only outward; inwardly, the people in question are fused with one another and remain emotionally reactive.
In emotional cutoff, communication ceases altogether. The cutoff may be merely internal (I live with or near you, but I will not talk to you), or it may be geographical (I separate myself physically from you). A person may “leave” the family or group emotionally or literally. Not all geographical departures comprise cutoff, of course. People leave home or job for a variety of reasons. It is when the departure is reactive to emotional intensity that problems present themselves. Sometimes people develop symptoms (such as depression), but the cutoff itself is seldom recognized as part of the problem.
The degree to which is person is fused with, or undifferentiated from, her or his parents, determines the level to which she or he is likely to resort to any or all of the relationship patterns Dr. Gilbert describes as anxiety reactions:
- triangling
- conflict
- distance
- overfunctioning or underfunctioning
Cutoff, then, is one of the ineffective ways by which persons attempt to manage the relationship tension that results from unresolved attachment (fusion or undifferentiation). Unfortunately, the more intense the cutoff with the past, the more likely the problem is to arise in some form in the person’s own marriage or in the relationship to her or his own children.
The person who cuts off from his or her family is no more independent than the one who never leaves home. They are both reactive to a huge degree of fusion. Relationship ‘nomads,’ or serial monogamists and hermits all represent versions of intense cutoff. One who cuts off from parents is vulnerable to impulsively getting into an emotionally intense marriage that ends in the cutoff of divorce” (Roberta M. Gilbert, The Eight Concepts of Bowen Theory, p. 60).
While the separation from parents, spouse, siblings, or colleagues may be a relief at first, the cutoff eventually leads to increased anxiety, which leads to symptoms, which may not be recognized in relation to the cutoff.
Gilbert and others who write about Bowen theory encourage the process of bridging family cutoffs. It is a risky business. I must reestablish connection while maintaining differentiation of self.
Photo Credit: Inner Conflict by Kat
December 23, 2010 at 11:27 am
[…] of us are only a small part of something much larger than we are by ourselves. Many people are too cut off to take much interest in the generations of their families. But for those who make the effort there […]